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Banking for Bums and Huslers

This post is dedicated to all the close minded bitches. I know your out there. Fuck you.

Saving Money. Tough Shit. When your out on the streets hustling making your bread you feel a certain rush. When you count your change a smile creeps across your face. I know it, You know it. Why the fuck are we still stuck here then? What keeps us wallowing in the ghetto when we could be living in a loft with a hooker on our dick?

The heat. When the money comes in our pockets get hot. I know it, You know it. Easy come easy go. I like steak and when my pockets are full of cash I eat out. 300 dollars a day, I can rack up 100 in food easy. When  sleeping on the streets and your homeless it’s even worse. You’ll be panhandling and someone hands you a twenty. How fast does that shit go? I know it, you know it.

    Someone suggested I stack gold.

    Let’s live in the suburbs and have a nice brick house with a white picket fence while were at it. Get real mother fucker. How the fuck am I going to walk around on the fucking streets with a pound of gold? You think for a second I’m gonna post with a POUND OF GOLD on me? Even if i got a roof over my head we both know that shit ain’t safe. Now I’m a pretty paranoid cat but let me tell you with AU on my person I ain’t never gonna sleep.

    There is only one way a homeless man can get money-strait when the shit comes in hot. You got to put it away. Now we both know that the library is open at least 5 days a week. Check it.

1. Go to and open an account. (Use a fake name)

2.  Get a wallet here

3.  MEMORIZE YOUR PASSWORDS. Lock yourself in the bathroom at Starbucks and repeat that shit 500 times until you know it good. Then repeat another 500 times just to be safe.

4. Find an offer that accepts cash deposit with good reviews

5. Place an order then go to the bank and deposit the money under that person’s name.

6.  After you get the coins move half into your Blockchain wallet. (Don’t keep all your coins in one wallet)

Remember don’t spend your bread. Save that shit and retire.


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